My Retirement Party


“Every second is a moment in TIME. But tonight! Tonight, is a moment in history.”

It really looks like I just won the championship dont it? lol.

What a night. Last night was unreal. To be honest, I didnt plan a retirement party. It was actually all Mickey’s and Dan’s idea. lol. I felt it was too douchey to have a retirement party, but I said I was down as long as I didnt have to plan it. lol. I dont know if that made me any less douchey, but it is what happened.

The night started off pretty calm. We chilled around as we waited for the first set of bottles to come out. But once the bottles came out, it became a very different party.

Just so we’re clear, Im not trying to brag about any of last night’s festivities, Im merely sharing a piece of my life in the most truest and most appropriate description possible. So dont take it the wrong way.

Anyhow, there were so many bottles that were delivered to the table that we had to pass them out. lol. We would have died of alcohol poisoning if we had really tried to drink it ourselves. Now I dont know if y’all heard about how wild the party was when Dan had his going away party back in April, but it was really bad. Like Im talking about we got so hammered that we couldnt finish the alcohol so we poured it on each other and on the floor, ran out of alcohol to pour and spray, so we started pouring mixers, and when that ran out, we started dashing ice buckets at each other and when there was nowhere else to put empty bottles, we just started throwing them. And when there was nothing left to throw, we ordered a 24 of beer just to pour and throw. lol. And last night?… Last night was worse.

We came in this time fully aware of what was going down. I swear we were nothing short of savages in the club. lol. But dont get it twisted, we were only able to do this because we’re actually good friends with the club owner. Had that been any other club, we would have been kicked out or our asses would have been dragged into a basement, tied up and beaten to a pulp. lol. Trust me.

The first set of bottles might have been a good warm up set, but the second set was just straight up G. Mickey once again, had all the bottle service girls bring me 100 nuggets with sparklers! lmao. Fuckin guy. Cant lie, that shit was delicious and oh so necessary for my survival that night. Watching the packs of nuggets disappear from my hands reminded me of being a kid in school at recess whenever my mom brought me McDonalds for lunch. The other kids hate on you, but once they see that oily brown bag with the golden arch on it, everyone wants to be your damn friend. lol. “Oh, let me help you with that! Theyre not even good for you anyways!” Oh thanks, fuckers. lol.

The final set was the dagger though. Once the squad of gold bottles came out, it was pretty much a wrap. We made a promise before the bottles came out that we would drink them and not spray each other. Most people only do champagne showers with bottles of Moet. To be honest, I was hoping to really chill and drink the Ace. But that thought got completely erased when Mickey and Dan sprayed me with theirs. After that, it was pure anarchy and chaos. lol. Bottles and champagne flying everywhere.

Someone msged me this morning and was like “I came over to say hi to you, and someone dumped a bottle of Ace on my face!” lmfao

And someone else msged me today saying “Yo, I wanted to come over and say hi to you guys, but I didnt think it was safe to.” lol.

Next thing you know, a bunch of shirtless tatted dudes were running around, jumping and mosh-pitting. Im talking about shoving, tackling, punching and carrying eachother while going completely ham to a trap/ hood hip hop set. lol. No lie. It was actually fucking insanity.

Most people dont know this about me, but I get very Hulk like when Im drunk. Im a happy person still, except I become super aggressive and feel the need to bear hug and carry everyone. I was so amped yesterday that I decided to pick up the table and bang it on the floor. Not to break it or anything, but just to make some noise. But of course, as I was doing this, someone pushed me, my foot slid forward and I smashed the table on my own foot! lol. What a fool.

I wish I could tell you a lie of epic proportions about how my foots fuct up, but I think the truth is so much more stupid and endearing. lol. Sigh. I dont know what to say about last night, except that I felt I was at a live filming of the Pursuit of Happiness video. lol. Ignorant? Hell yea. YOLO? Fuckin right.

How many people can say they had a champagne shower fight with Ace of Spades with their closest homies? Adrian said it was like being at a crazy ass house party with your best friends who happened to be the coolest kids in school. I used to think YOLO was merely a catchy abbreviation on a super catchy hook in a Drizzy track. But Ive come to understand YOLO very differently now. Its about really just doing shit for the sake of a good story, for a single moment in time, for a lasting memory, or maybe even one you’ll forget. Its about not worrying about the consequences, and just living. Doing as you please and knowing that we may die at any second of any day. Its to live to the absolute fullest and put your full heart and soul into everything you do and into every relationship you care about. Its not about waiting for the right moment, its about making the right moment. Eat that steak you want, take that trip, buy those loafers you wanted. And if we should die before we wake, its ok. Because we lived without regret. Im not saying I encourage stupidity and carelessness or lack of planning in life. Dont hurt anyone in the process either.

Everything is only good in moderation.

Im just saying, when life hands you an opportunity to do something crazy and out of the norm, take it. Kiss that girl, ride that roller coaster, pursue that career. YOLO baby. Like I always say, if not now, then when? And I guess you can attribute my retirement to the YOLO philosophy. Im still young. I want to explore other avenues, especially the ones Ive unintentionally paved this whole while. Let me take this road while I still have youth, patience and the capacity to carry on. Let me try it, fail now if I have to, learn and still have time to try it again and make it work.

The world is such a huge place and life is such a beautiful thing. I want to see more of it. Instead of my retirement being the celebration of an end of an era, lets let it be the celebration for the beginning of a new one.

To Dan, Fresh, Mickey and Lee and everyone else who was with us last night, especially my younger brother Mike, Sid, Landlord, Adrian, Brandon, Jarrel, Josh, JC, Potter, Vasco, Jigga, Viola, Adrienne, Davron, Fred, Avi, Lissa, Shez, Lance and everyone else who was there last night – thanks for being a part of this excerpt in my history book. Lets keep writing ok? Welcome back home Dan and happy birthday, Lee! And shout outs to Sid for killing the pics again! I love the shots. Shouts to Brendan of Society for coming back in town to celebrate! And of course, shouts to my boo, Julie. Even though you couldnt make it, I know you were with me in spirit.

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