I am writing you this letter even before you are born…in case I never get the chance to say all of these things to you later on.

I have no idea how old you’ll be when you find this post but I hope that Ive been a good father to you thus far.
Ive been wanting to be a father since I was 20 and  I am now 26.
Im hoping I had you before I turned 30 and Im not too old or too uncool for us to hang out.
Im hoping that we have a great relationship and that Ive spent a lot of sunny days under the sun with you and even more rainy days under a roof by a fire place.
Im hoping that Ive raised you well and that you’re a smart, intelligent and strong individual.
Im hoping I didnt miss your basketball games, school plays, graduations and all of your important days.
Im hoping I havent missed too many family dinners.
Im hoping I havent missed too many bedtime stories.
Im hoping I was there to hug you during your first heartbreak.
Im hoping I was there to wipe your tears too.
Im hoping I didnt miss your youth.

Im hoping Ive been a father.
A better father than mine was to me.

Im hoping I havent broke your heart by working too much and never being home.

I always said, if I had a child, I would be a father.

I dont want to be the father that you only know through photographs.
I know how hard it is to grow up without a father and always having to be the man of the house.
I know what its like to have to protect your mother against the men in her life.
I know what its like to raise younger siblings when your parents are hard at work trying to put food on the table and a roof over your head.
I know what its like to feel alone and have to grow up too fast.
I know what its like to feel like you never really got to enjoy the simplicities of childhood.
I know what its like to be lost without anyone to guide you.
Im hoping that Ive been able to love you the way you I imagined I would have.

I cry every time I think of my father…and Im really hoping you’ll never have to cry about me.

Sometimes I wish my father loved me enough to stay.
I wish he cared to fight for me.
I wish he cared enough to make sure I grew up properly.
I wish he wanted to be my father when it still mattered.
The emptiness that exists inside of me is a feeling I hope you never experience.

Call your old man a sap, but I cry over everything that has to do with a father and son…whether it be a movie or a song.

If I havent been around, please know I tried.
There isnt a day in my life that goes by where I dont imagine the day you exist and how happy you’ll make me.
I imagine you coming home from school and being so excited to say you’re artistic like daddy is.
I imagine you jumping into bed and waking me up because you’re scared of the monster under your bed.
I imagine me dressing you up in 8 different layers of winter clothes before driving you to school.
I imagine you in pajamas under a christmas tree tearing through gifts and screaming with excitement.
I imagine you falling asleep while I tell boring stories of my younger days.
I imagine us watching home videos together and you laughing at how corny all the music I used to listen to sounds.
I imagine the day you move out and I have to send you off to college, and you’re mothers crying in my arms.
I imagine the day your mother and I watch you get married and the day you have a child and I become a grandfather.

Im writing this post today because Ive been going through a lot of things thats been tearing me part inside.

I havent really told anyone.
Im getting scared that I might not find a way to stabilize my lifestyle, career and money.
Ill never know what love is because Im too busy trying to fight for a life that I still may be unhappy with anyways.
Im afraid that Ill die alone…and this letter is actually written for no one.
Im afraid that my life will be purposeless.

Im afraid …

I just want time.
Time to be in love, time to build a family, time to live my life.
I hope you figure this out before I did…if I ever did.
I wish you goodluck if you havent yet.

Love,

your father.

I thought this day would never come. We’ve been planning our new shop for over a year now.

Last spring, we were out in the rain and wind with my homie, Jason Johnson (our real estate agent) shopping for a new location. We went all along Queen West, Parkdale and the Junction. We found some really amazing spaces, but nothing got us as excited as being inside Liberty Village.

I wont lie, the rent there costs a pretty penny, but it was perfect for what we were looking to do and to us, it was all worth it.

“Our intentions are deeper than skin deep. As important as it is to build a business, its equally important to cultivate minds and raise a culture.”

In our opinions, Liberty Village itself holds the same core values in their community as we do in our own. Its a tightly knit community that holds a farmers market every Sunday, BBQs and charity events on the regular and other random fun stuff. Theres a handful of different newspapers that gets distributed to the thousands of creative minds that live in the area to keep them all connected and a part of the community. Its not one of those places where people just go to work and go home and sleep.

Its like the good old days where people used to sit at cafe’s after work, making friends with random smiles. Or dog walking while pushing the strollers with the other local parents. Sitting on benches outside while reading newspapers and enjoying good conversations while having a cappuccino and a biscotti. Or maybe fall in love with the cute girl reading the book that you just finished while waiting for the bus. lol. Im so dumb. But the neighbourhood really makes me feel that way. lol.

The area is a random pocket bordering the CNE grounds and Parkdale but its nothing you would expect when you turn in. Its a neighbourhood full of factories and warehouses that used to produce and manufacture paper, toys, carpets and war supplies during the earlier half of the 20th century. There was even a central prison in the area. In fact the main street in which the prisoners walked when they were released from prison was called “Liberty Street.”

I guess the image of the French Revolution on the site’s main page made perfect sense then huh?

Its about time we were granted Liberty.

To everyone that we have had the pleasure of knowing and anyone that we haven’t yet, we’d like to invite you to our grand opening on April 16th at the new P&P flagship shop.

171 Liberty Street #145 (King and Dufferin area)
Toronto, On
April 16th, 2011
2pm-8pm

Come by to enjoy some smooth music from a custom trio of musicians we put together, some h’or dourves, some drinks and good people.

Its been a long time coming and we wouldnt want to celebrate this day with anyone else but you guys.
Our family.
Our reunion.

www.pleasureandpainink.com

No matter the season, no matter the whatever, Jack always pulls through and makes sure Im decked in the tuques, fedoras, scarves and ish for the season. Jack is oneof the most humble and thoughtful people Ive ever been fortunate to meet.

I tip my hat to you. Pun intended. lol

Mad love to the Big It Up/ Brimz Crew as well.

And to anyone who only owns new era fitteds…its time to get your swag right. Check out the online shop here or a shop at a mall near you.

(The picture above is only one quarter of the entire resort, that place is massive!!!)

Man, it took forever to get from the Montego Bay Airport to the Riu Resort in Ocho Rios.

After going through a huge line up and wait to get through all the customs procedures, I ended up in the area where everyone finds their transportation to the hotel. So this guy comes up to me…

“Yes Boss. You good today?”

“Yea man.”

“How can I help you?”

“I just need a shuttle to my hotel.”

“Alright boss, right here. How’s Bob Marley?”

“?…What about Bob Marley.”

(He gives me this look like I should know and then looks away quickly as if someone was watching him. lol. I suddenly clue in)

“Oh. Nah, nah. Im cool brother. Thank you.”

lmao. What a loser I am.

Anyhow, there were all sorts of mix up mix up with my shuttle bus arrangements. I was supposed to have a voucher but I didnt, and then I only had Canadian but the Jamaican lady took 30 minutes to figure out the conversion to US or Jamaican dollars…She kept callin’ me Mr. Chin…lol…(nothing Im not used to). I get on the bus and sit for like 20 minutes. The drive is an hour and 3o minutes to the hotel. I get there, and I have no idea where Tyson and Tania is. I get to my room. The room is pretty nice but my view was ass…well, not really because the lord knows I wouldnt be complaining if my view was really ass. lol. I was on the second floor staring at a fence and a tree trunk…yay. Most depressing view ever. So I call and ask for a room change, they say nothing is available until tmr…wack. lol. Anyhow, I shower and whatever…and then sit in my room, call the front desk and try to locate Tyson and Tania…no luck. I figured they were probably on the beach and not sitting in their rooms waiting for my call. So I decide to walk out of my room and walk around.

I totally forgot it was an all inclusive, so I stopped inside one of the 5 buffets that are set up all around the giant resort and started eating by myself. lol. What a loser. Thank God the brother of the bride found me and brought me to everyone cuz I was like dayummm…if I have to chill by myself in this beautiful place all by myself until night, damn, Id be depressed as hell. lol.

These guys made me drink ‘the welcome to Jamaica’ shot, which was a 50 something percent of something…I think its rum, called the Zion Lion or something…it went down easy, but it sure wanted to come back up really quickly. lol.

We drank for a bit and then headed out to this Jerk hut just off the resort called Scotchies and damn was their jerk chicken and pork ever so great. Make sure to try that pepper sauce too. That pepper sauce got some zing in it boy!

lol.

Well thats all for now, Im gonna start posting part 3 up now.

I cant lie and say Im not shitting bricks at the thought of me showcasing my work and being the center of attention all night.

I cant lie and say Im sweating bullets when I think of the possibility of everyone saying my work sucks…

I cant lie and say also not excited as schmuck for this event either.

This exhibit was the eventual plan for this collection of photos…I just never voiced. Gavin hit me up on it one day saying he had an idea for it. Im glad we were on the same page. In as matter of days, Gavin hits me and is like ok, so Johnny Hockins from MTV News is spinning, MTV is probably going to document it, I found the craziest venue for, I got a graphic designer…Im like…*jaw drops

I know you think this shouldnt sound like anything surprising, but I really mean it when I say that everyday is still a surprise to me. To know people are down to support you and help you out is one of the greatest feelings. I have one of the best families anyone could ever ask for. Even the thought of this exhibit showcasing my work is a bit surreal and overwhelming…

Dont be surprised if I have an anxiety attack and pass out in front of people next Saturday night.

And yes…I also took new shots for this collection that you guys havent seen yet.

I would like formally welcome all of you guys, my blog readers to attend my exhibit next Saturday. It would be an amazing to finally be able to put a face to so many of my commenters and readers. It would be an honor to have you guys in attendence, because without you, there would be no me. It just wouldnt be the same without you.

Thank you especially to Gavin for single handedly making all of this happen. You never cease to amaze me, brother.

Shout outs to my brothers Brock and T at 1LOVETO.com, Michelle and Kathleen of Brazen Hussy, Dre for the amazing flyer work, the Ontario Arts Council (OAC) and to Ashley MacIntyre for always being the awesomeness. I couldnt have done any of this without you guys…OH YEA! and thanks to Bryan Espirtu for always being the big brother I never had. You are my inspiration.

Below is the press info that Gavin put together for me.  Feel free to blog, re-blog, pass it on, post in your local bars washroom stall…whatever. lol

See y’all next week.

Peace and Love.

T’s and O’s.

_____________________________________________________

The Remix Project x Lost In The Willderness Presents:

“IN SEARCH OF GOTHAM”

Chris Bosh and one of The Remix Project’s official photographers William Nguyen launches debut photography exhibition in the cross streets of urban decay and urban renewal.

• Gotham City, a fictional city appearing in DC Comics, is best known as the home of Batman. Batman’s place of residence was first identified as Gotham City in Batman #4 (Winter 1940).

Reinterpreting Toronto as the mythical Gotham City, photographer William Nguyen highlights the Mega City’s gothic, seedier side giving us a glimpse of what Toronto might look like if the caped crusader indeed roamed our streets.

Believing firmly that we all have superheroes resting somewhere within our breast, William Nguyen’s “In Search of Gotham” exhibition is as much an expression of love for his city as much as it is a call to action to it’s citizens.

“I always loved batman growing up. For the obvious reason that he looked cool, but also because of what he represented. He’s an ordinary man, with no super powers. Fueled and motivated by the things that happened/are happening around him. He took action to change things, at the same time sacrificing his life. He sacrificed love, a personal life and maybe even a reputation for the greater good. The goal was to make a difference and inspire others when they had lost reason to believe in better things. I frequently assess my life and found some similarities. Obviously I’m not doing what batman does, but I am him, to a smaller degree, in my own way. And, if I am batman, than this, Toronto, is my Gotham City.

We can be anything we can imagine, the question is, when do we start converting our imagination to reality. This series is my attempt to realize that dream and show people that the fantastical exists in our everyday. We just need to recognize that.” – William Nguyen

Urban decay and potential meet seamlessly at “Unit C” located at 102 Ossington, Unit C for this exciting new show. A rough space of pockmarked concrete, old graffiti tags and sparkling new dry wall, “Unit C” on the developing Ossington strip is the perfect home for In Search of Gotham.

Music supplied by Johnny Hockin of MTV News

Artist, William Nguyen, in attendance.

A percentage of all sales will be donated to registered charity, The Remix Project.

More about The Remix Project:

The Remix Project is dedicated to ensuring Toronto’s most talented, aspiring young creative minds are given the opportunity to achieve their full potential.

A registered charity, The Remix Project is a priority project of the Mayor’s “Community Safety Secretariat” and an award-winning partner of UN Habitat’s “Safe Cities Programme”. The project ensures personal responsibility and skill development while giving each participant the opportunity to follow their own passions, on their own terms. Participants are paired with industry professionals in a unique mentorship program. This unique program grants unprecedented access to the recording, creative and cultural business industries, ensuring the highest quality of education through our hands-on approach.

Throughout The Remix Project, we not only hope to empower youth from priority neighbourhoods, we also seek to inspire Torontonians from across our city to give back.

ARTIST BIO:

William Nguyen known to many as “Photo Will” (as dubbed by Drake in “I’m Still Fly”), has become one of Toronto’s leading event photographers. The personal photographer of Chris Bosh of the Toronto Raptors, Will has also photographed for concerts/shows by the likes of the Rza, N.E.R.D, Fabolous, Swizz Beats, Common, Lupe Fiasco, Rick Ross, Alicia Keys, Clipse, Lil’ John, Kid Cudi, The Veronicas, Keys N Krates and Kim Kardashian.

His fashion show portfolio includes shooting lookbooks for Ransom’s Spring/Summer and Fall Winter 2008, Brazen Hussy’s Spring/ Summer 2010 lookbook and fashion show and the Greta Constantine Spring/Summer 2010 fashion show. He recently finished a photoshoot for DJ Whoo Kid of G-Unit records.

In addition, he has worked alongside music video director, RT to cover the behind the scene stills for Snoop Dogg’s “Hot Girl” Video. Will is also the personal photographer of the Bossy Girls (stylists) whenever they are on music video sets. He has documented various press conferences and worked with Sol Guy from the 4REAL TV series from MTV. He has also shot for Timex Group’s Marc Ecko Watches, BMW Group’s MINI and special events sponsored by Absolute and Smirnoff Vodkas, Fuze Beverages, Budweiser and the Buffalo Bills. Will also works closely alongside 1loveto.com as the main photographer.

The importance of giving back strongly ingrained in him as an alumni of Toronto’s The Remix Project, Will used both his experiences at Remix as well as his degree in Urban Geography to found a photojournalism program called Concrete Willderness in association with the Remix Project which he continues to run today.

Will has gained a lot of success through his blog, www.lostinthewillderness.com with an average of 50,000 hits monthly. Will has branched out into promotion and coordinated events such as Drake’s 22nd Birthday Event and collaborated on fashion shows and live art installments.

then umm…a days supply of hugs?

lol.

No dumbass bosses who are angry cuz they’re impotent and single.

No silly wack elevator music.

Hip hop all day. Swearing allowed…I wont list it all off, but we can do whatever we want, as long as the work gets done. 

But most importantly, we aint gotta cover up our tattoos. 

SMH. No need to hide who we are in this house. No ones judging you by the way you look.

You’re not discriminated here.

You’re accepted.

My office is simply life with a roof. 

And life…?

…its ALLLLLLL good.

Welcome to P&P.

Pleasure & Pain Ink

3058a Hurontario St. Mississauga
(289) 232-5407
www.pleasureandpainink.com

The two had spent the entire afternoon together shopping and eating in Yorkville which I loved even more. 

We were supposed to go eat after I finished work but instead Julie and I decided to go into PJ’s Pet Shop and buy a fighter fish. I would much rather a blue nose pitbull but my mom would probably have a heart attack. lol. So we decided on a smaller, more containable pet. 

I wanted to name the fish, “My Boy Blue” but she wasnt having it. lol. Then I said Sonic the Hedgehog-fish…she said…”We’ll never have kids if you’re naming them.” lmfao

So then we decided to call him Jacques…cuz its my favorite French name…well not really, but I sure love saying it. lol

Anyhow, Julie had to put together the whole lil fish bowl, pebbles, water, solution and fish. Im only here for the watching. lol. She says Im gonna have to change the water, but I have a fear of killing small animals because Im afraid to apply too much pressure and kill em. lol.

She’s insisting I get over my fear and do it, but Id probably pass out if I had to hold a slimey fish in my hand. lol

Give me a dog, Im good…Give me a fish, a hamster, a bird and Ill probably faint. 

lol

She’s away at the cottage this weekend with her friends. I was supposed to go too but Im stuck working all weekend so I had to pass it up.

I guess its just me and Jacques this weekend. lol

Keep your fingers crossed and hope that I dont screw this up. lol