Maybe Ive said this before on the blog, or maybe I havent.

I have a bad memory.

But Im always thinking about death. Im always wondering if these last moments will be my last.

Did I kiss my mom before I left the house? Have I told my siblings Im proud of them? Did I tell my girl I love her? Do my friends know they mean the world to me?

I just finished watching 50/50, that movie with Joseph Gordon Levitt. I wont spoil it completely, but he gets diagnosed with cancer and finds out he has a 50% chance of surviving.

Like imagine, living life knowing that your days are almost up.

What would you? Where would go? Who would you see?

I just hope that before I die, everyone that I care about and love knows that I do and Ive been able to do something for them to know that. And I hope that when I die, Ive created libraries of memories for them to hold on to, long after Im gone. I hope that before I die, Ive taken enough pictures and told enough stories to not fade in their minds. I guess, the one thing I always hope for is that I mattered to someone.

Watching that movie also made me thankful for being healthy. It reminded me of how fortunate I am. I think thats something that we all forget sometimes. We’re so busy being upset at what we dont have, and we forget how lucky we are for all the things that we do.

I dont want to write too much about this topic because its gonna really bum me out, I dont want to preach and Im sure none of you guys want to read about this on a Saturday night.

I just wanted to share my thoughts. Feel free to write comments below though.

Take care of yourselves.

PS. I hate writing sappy, emo shit nowadays, but I also hate calling people and telling them about how bummy I am sometimes. So sorry if you guys have to be the one that bares the burden.