Dear son/daughter,
I am writing you this letter even before you are born…in case I never get the chance to say all of these things to you later on.
I have no idea how old you’ll be when you find this post but I hope that Ive been a good father to you thus far.
Ive been wanting to be a father since I was 20 and I am now 26.
Im hoping I had you before I turned 30 and Im not too old or too uncool for us to hang out.
Im hoping that we have a great relationship and that Ive spent a lot of sunny days under the sun with you and even more rainy days under a roof by a fire place.
Im hoping that Ive raised you well and that you’re a smart, intelligent and strong individual.
Im hoping I didnt miss your basketball games, school plays, graduations and all of your important days.
Im hoping I havent missed too many family dinners.
Im hoping I havent missed too many bedtime stories.
Im hoping I was there to hug you during your first heartbreak.
Im hoping I was there to wipe your tears too.
Im hoping I didnt miss your youth.
Im hoping Ive been a father.
A better father than mine was to me.
Im hoping I havent broke your heart by working too much and never being home.
I always said, if I had a child, I would be a father.
I dont want to be the father that you only know through photographs.
I know how hard it is to grow up without a father and always having to be the man of the house.
I know what its like to have to protect your mother against the men in her life.
I know what its like to raise younger siblings when your parents are hard at work trying to put food on the table and a roof over your head.
I know what its like to feel alone and have to grow up too fast.
I know what its like to feel like you never really got to enjoy the simplicities of childhood.
I know what its like to be lost without anyone to guide you.
Im hoping that Ive been able to love you the way you I imagined I would have.
I cry every time I think of my father…and Im really hoping you’ll never have to cry about me.
Sometimes I wish my father loved me enough to stay.
I wish he cared to fight for me.
I wish he cared enough to make sure I grew up properly.
I wish he wanted to be my father when it still mattered.
The emptiness that exists inside of me is a feeling I hope you never experience.
Call your old man a sap, but I cry over everything that has to do with a father and son…whether it be a movie or a song.
If I havent been around, please know I tried.
There isnt a day in my life that goes by where I dont imagine the day you exist and how happy you’ll make me.
I imagine you coming home from school and being so excited to say you’re artistic like daddy is.
I imagine you jumping into bed and waking me up because you’re scared of the monster under your bed.
I imagine me dressing you up in 8 different layers of winter clothes before driving you to school.
I imagine you in pajamas under a christmas tree tearing through gifts and screaming with excitement.
I imagine you falling asleep while I tell boring stories of my younger days.
I imagine us watching home videos together and you laughing at how corny all the music I used to listen to sounds.
I imagine the day you move out and I have to send you off to college, and you’re mothers crying in my arms.
I imagine the day your mother and I watch you get married and the day you have a child and I become a grandfather.
Im writing this post today because Ive been going through a lot of things thats been tearing me part inside.
I havent really told anyone.
Im getting scared that I might not find a way to stabilize my lifestyle, career and money.
Ill never know what love is because Im too busy trying to fight for a life that I still may be unhappy with anyways.
Im afraid that Ill die alone…and this letter is actually written for no one.
Im afraid that my life will be purposeless.
Im afraid …
I just want time.
Time to be in love, time to build a family, time to live my life.
I hope you figure this out before I did…if I ever did.
I wish you goodluck if you havent yet.
Love,
your father.
Post of the year
I dream of marrying someone as sweet as you, Will.
your totally ready.
Hope you and Julie didnt break up. Also dont be worried you already know everything you didnt have so you’re going to give your kid all of that. You will be just fine! Keep your head up. Double also you need to write a book on your past etc cause I remember when you used to post that stuff way back and it was really good! Anyways take care!
First, I agree with Crisaundra, LOL. Naw, you are like a little brother to me (in my head). Second, Wow, Will. I don’t know you personally. I only know you based on what you choose to share on this blog. From what I see and by what you tell us, everything seems to be working itself out slowly but surely. It is normal to feel scare, nervous, anxious, etc., BUT you just have to work a little bit towards your dream everyday to make sure those thoughts do not become a reality. Keep your head up bro! You are good.
some might say parenting is a challenge, and if that’s true, I just hope parenting’s a challenge that both parents are willing to take on unconditionally.
Commit to it
Although your readers, us, may not comprehend what you’re going through. I’m glad that you took the time out to share it. It gets lonely keeping your emotions bottled up inside. It helps to vent through your blog post. You’re not alone on your quest to for happiness, love and purpose. I bet each of us has a story to share about our past and what we deal with every day. We may not understand what you’re going through, but we all have pains with deal with. You’re not alone will. confronting your past is the first step to becoming a better person and father.
I Think your one of the most coolest people i have ever cross paths with… I feel the same way.
this was beautiful…ditto to everything everyone else has said…your future children will be very lucky to have you as their father…hugs
Beautiful post! Your style of writing is inspirational…pretty much everything you wrote I can relate to and feel the same way!
When you write a blog, usually you start from page one (1) all the way up to how many hundreds of pages you have now. When I stumbled upon your blog I started from you most recent blog in the year 2012 now going backwards to I think this is aug 2011.. And wow… I have read many blogs before but I have to admit non thus far has been deep to the point where the one reading it can feel that they can relate…
I hope you do actually go back and read your earlier blogs and see how much you have progressed and how much you have accomplished..
I don’t know you personally but I know we have mutual friends and I must second what everyone else above mentioned.. I’m pretty sure you’ll make a great father one day.